Okay, so some of the stuff I've written really needs work:
- Gar didn't want to enter Sawbill and then got a room at an inn there, and then suddenly remembered he didn't want to be in Sawbill.
- I hope to modify his intro to explain 'oh, lemon cart! That fixes the smell, so no reason to not go through Sawbill and show my face there.' Drop the bit about 'witnesses', for one. Also, since he can, expand his Sawbill experience. Let him stay overnight and visit an eatery. He's hungry.
- The History of Pesce
- Just a few moments after writing that, I eeMailed Jaime (Online pseudonym: 'Canton') to tell her she's boring. I need to rewrite this to make it non-boring. It can still be about her. Just non-lame.
- Political Undertones
- It seemed a bit boring and forced (it was forced), but doesn't really suck, maybe. I may want to fix it up a bit. I don't know.
- Island of the Gods
- Impressively bad. I think I want to keep it as a dream sequence, as it introduced my new favourite character quite well, but it should start out as a good, accurate representation of the island, then get weird just before he awakes. Once he awakens, chapter should end more quickly.